"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars" - Les Brown

Monday, May 10, 2010

What a week!

Tomorrow will be 1 week since all of this happened. Its been such a hard week, more tears then I have cried in my whole lifetime I think. Sean has thankfully respected my wishes so far has left me alone, I hope this continues and I never hear from him again.

I had to go talk to the bridal store about my dress. I love my dress but lets face it I don't know when I will get married.... and who knows if I will regret wearing the dress I pictured myself marrying Sean in. So she said the best she could do was have me pay a $250 restocking fee.... my dress was made by Maggie Sottero she is from Austriallia I think. So the company charges that much to restock. So I am out $250 I guess. It was really hard being in the store... remembering before how happy I was when I tried it on :(  I cried the whole way home... I think I am still in shock sometimes and then it hits me all at once, that I'm really not getting married. Sometimes I think Sean is just at bootcamp or something and I am waiting for a letter. The other day after my game I opened my phone to call him... I really forgot for a split second. I think what I wonder the most is what he is doing. What he is feeling. If he misses me. If he's with her. If he is ok. Its hard when the last time I heard his voice he was hysterically crying. But then I think harder and I realize none of it matters and thats why I asked him not to speak to me anymore. I don't want to suffer through his emotions with him. I am dealing with my own and I don't need his sorry's in the mix anymore because my mind was made up from the second it came out of his mouth. I would never take him back.

I am still overwhelmed with gratitude for my friends and family and for all of you on here. Your comments touched my heart, its so good to hear your advice and to know that you care. Thank you so much!
Like I have been saying ALL week............. things can only go up from here :) They can't get any worse and I am hanging in there.

A few exciting things....

I have shopped a lot... I have 7 new dresses and a bunch of new swim suits......  that means Vacation!!!

Well my girls trip we have been planning for months is finally here and it couldn't have come at a better time! We are off to Las Vegas to stay at a resort and shop! Thats all I want to do right now... but then
I made a very spontaneous decision....

I just purchased my ticket .... and I leave in a week and a half!

First I will see this in La Fortuna

Arenal Volcano

Then I will see this in Nosara

I am going to Costa Rica!!!
At work I was talking to one of my friends.... after I told her what happened, she said I could come with her and her friends. I am so excited about it. I just need to get out of here and take my mind off of everything! No I am not trying to run away from my sorrows but the damage is done, lets just hope this helps the healing process go a little quicker! I am expecting Costa Rica to put a tiny extra patch on my heart. I have never been out of the country and I am kind of nervous. I just got my passport in the mail on Friday ( how convenient) so if any of you have been to Costa Rica and have any tips let me know.... What to wear? Things I HAVE to bring? Places I HAVE to see? Places to Avoid.....Anything??? Throw it my way.

Thanks so much for all of your support and love. Last night I read a talk that I am pretty sure Elder Holland wrote just for me (seriously) haha jk But basically I am grateful to know all of these things.

The Best Is Yet To Be!
Look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed towards the future.
Forgive and Forget
The best advice and my goal from this point forward is to NOT dwell on days now gone nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. I have learned what I needed to learn and I have brought with me the best that I have experienced. So I think we can all take Elder Hollands advice;

" Faith is always pointed toward the future"

The best is yet to be :)
Love you guys!


  1. Wish I had some tips about Costa Rica for you... maybe next time. BUT!!! I WILL See you in Vegas girlie! You, Me. New swim suits. Pool, Tan, SHOPPING, it doesn't get any better than that!!

  2. Wowwww shopping can always fill voids and those trips sound amazing, I wana come haha...stay strong girl xoxo

  3. Natacia, I am seriously so amazed at how wonderful you are. I wanted to comment on your last post, but everything I kept thinking to say....was not what I really wanted to say. You want to know what I really think? I was SO sick to my stomach when I read what happened. Then I realized, I actually feel worse for Sean. He's the one that F-ed up. Big time. Losing you was the biggest mistake he will ever make. You're the one that gets to move onto something FAR better. Go have some fun, you freaking deserve it.

  4. Have fun on your trips! I've said it before- you are amazing. I love your attitude! You have taught be so much Toss, Thank You! I love you, have a blast!

  5. Toss- You have such an amazing attitude! I wish I were as positive as you are! But, Costa Rica... You are going to love it there. I spent a week there last year and absolutely loved it. THe beaches are amazing but watch out for sand fleas/bugs. I got quite a few bites and wished I would have brought bug spray... so take some!! and just enjoy. Probably my favorite place I have been to so far!